I had a “Peter” moment one time (not the first, probably not the last) and it made me ask a few questions. When I say a Peter moment, I mean a moment where in your head you believe you will act in a certain way. You believe this with all your might, then come to find you do something unexpected. Most if not all humans will have a Peter moment. Some occasionally, some all the time. All the same you never see the Peter moment coming. Just as Peter wept after realizing he had denied Jesus three times as he was told he would, tears may be shed and one question that will certainly come after a Peter moment is “how did I get here”?
You were convinced in your head, that you will do things a certain way. Now you find that you haven’t, and you don’t even understand how. Quick reminder that the devil will easily use this Peter moment to convince that you should feel ashamed and guilty. When he does so, remind him to read John 8:3-11 from the Excellent Book that he likes to snatch quotes from incorrectly, to suit his lying, selfish and destructive needs. Tell him even though Jesus could or should have, he didn’t condemn the lady so who are you to condemn or shame yourself. We don’t do that here! If God loves us through our faults, we are going to love ourselves through our numerous and ongoing shortcomings. He will tell you, you’re not capable of doing such a thing. It’s a lie! Tell him you can do all things through the Glorious name of Jesus, aka the one who knocked him out and defeated him in the grave and forever. That should shut him up.
After my Peter moment, I was initially upset then as I dwelled in it, I realized I was upset with God. I always pray for guidance, so how is it I have landed in a place that I have never been in before. Not only was I asking how I got here, but how did I get here when I prayed before approaching the event not only on that day but even on the day before. As I prayed about my Peter moment, I wanted to say something along the lines of God forsook me but the verse “I will never leave you nor forsake you” came at the forefront so I "narrowed" my allegation to, “ok God, I know you will never leave me nor forsake me, but I feel like you left me”. How can I pray for something very important that I need like this, ask for help because I know if I don’t, I may end up in a place that I don’t like and sure enough now I have found myself there. What’s the point of praying. What’s the point of praying for something you know is so critical and then you don’t get it. If God doesn’t answer who will! What am I supposed to do because for me, prayer is my crutch. But if my crutch has “failed me” what’s the point? What is the point? These were my exact words.
I was disheartened, discouraged, and just wanted to throw in the towel. When I say throw in the towel it wasn’t that I was giving up on my faith. I knew that wasn’t an option, because if I’m not believing in God the Father, Son, Holy Spirit just who am I going to believe in. To me it’s only God and the devil in this world. There’s no in between and the devil is not an option. I was throwing in the towel, because I was upset with God. It was almost as if I was on strike. Not quite pouting or saying I won't speak to God. I still believe in you, you are still Good all the time, I can’t deny that, but I’m on some sort of strike because the one thing I know can work in a crucial time has not worked, so if it doesn’t, then I’m just going to be like a door, I’m just going to be there.
I knew I couldn’t abandon my prayer time or my Bible reading because I know these things are important, but I was still upset, and I was going to go ahead with my “strike” in some way. I know some prayers are not answered e.g., healing or those other big important prayers. Many times, I can faith-soothe, and I am at peace because I believe that there is better, or I am being spared from serious heartache. I know God’s ways are not ours but, in this scenario, I thought, how can God not answer me, yet we are reminded in the Excellent Book that we are not to do things by our own strength (because we just can’t) especially when it comes to prayers around the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Those ones are important, how can it not be answered! I was in tears, the type that comes from grief. I couldn’t believe I asked for help, and I didn’t get help.
I asked Jesus and the Holy Spirit to pray for me with his groans, because I didn’t know how to pray while I was on strike, having thrown in some kind of towel. My confidence in God was still there because I was praying to him, but I was not praying with thanksgiving, a cheerful heart that trusts the Lord with all my heart and avoids leaning on my own understanding. I was definitely not in that place where you should be when you are praying. At the same time, I knew I had to approach my BFF in heaven just like you would one here and say tearfully “Friend, I feel you’ve left me”. And what was messing me up was I KNOW He is a K.P.M.G. God, so how can you “leave me”. I prayed and asked for deep comfort because I felt I greatly needed it. As I was praying “something” came to me.
Yes, I prayed the night before and hours before the event, but just before the actual Peter moment, I didn’t do what I do, I dint do what I know. I didn’t take the time to STOP and PRAY! Yes, I had recited my second favourite verse “Fear not! for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will help you; I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” the night before and believed it, but at that moment when I saw things going south, I did not ask for help. If you dont ask for help, you dont get it!
All my eyes, ears and spirit could see were the problem. In fact, I was so engulfed by the problem, that the problem became the centre of my life at that moment, which means God was taken out of his rightful position, then I have the audacity to be upset with him, that he left me! I never even let him take centre stage. The minute something takes the centre of our life, it has now become our idol. So not only have I had a Peter moment, but I also now have an idol in the centre of my life, which means, I’ve broken all other commandments, just like that and in a moment! Sodom and Gomorrah! This is why the FIRST commandment is about not having any other gods beside God. These don't have to be statues. Anything that you pay attention to or obsess over so much that it takes the centre stage of your life. Anything that has you give your pure focus on that ultimately means removing God from the centre. For me in this situation my attention, focus and obsession were on the event. Just like that I took God out of his place. If this is easily done in a moment, imagine the other idols I have built/established as a result of my day to day, month to month and finally behavioural patterns.
I was also relying on yesterday's prayer or the prayer I said hours ago, which were not contextual to where I was at the present. Yes, I knew the day before the event would be crucial, but I didn’t pray a specific prayer. Unlike God who can see ahead, I can’t, so now that the moment was here, it’s almost like today’s prayer is not yesterday’s prayer. Today I can see there is a dark cloud over the blue sky, so I need to pray a fresh, because in the words of Phoebe Buffet, I now have “brand new information”. When I am praying today, I need to acknowledge this new development. I need to ask for more refined help, now that I see the dark cloud. I didn’t do this. I didn’t ask for help because I didn’t even stop to realise, “Hey! there’s now a dark cloud that I didn’t know of yesterday”. At that specific time, I did not ask for the help that I needed and then I’m accusing God of “leaving me”. I never even asked him in that moment to be with me! (Trust me, on this occasion I needed to ask again)
I also realised, I had actually been given a window out and the problem would have been worse without that window. Right there is that K.P.M.G. character of God. When these two things were revealed, now the tears switched from “God, you left me” to “ooowi God please forgive me” and more in the words of Jesus forgive me for I clearly know not what I am doing or saying!
I have learnt that I need to stop in the moment and pray. Even if its “Lord Help me", because then, my eyes have been opened and I can see that I need new or specific help in that moment. Sometimes a three-word prayer is powerful enough. When people say the Excellent Book contradicts itself, I often say that is not possible. It is us who don’t have the wisdom for days that God has, to understand his “handwriting”. I have now learnt that I can apply this principle when I feel a prayer has not been answered to my liking.
I don’t have the wisdom to understand the answer, but it would be in my best peaceful interest to not fight it or resist it and accept it. Jesus Help us because wow! This is especially so when the prayer hasn’t been answered the way I want or would have liked. I also need to remind myself that God’s will, will always be done. Not mine. This means that some prayers will never be answered the way I want or would like. If I don’t have the wisdom to read God’s word, the wisdom to understand the answers to the prayers, how then can things be done according to my will when I have limited understanding of everything. The will of God has to be done because he has all and unlimited understanding and he loves us like no one ever can, so I can and should trust him with all my existence.
This is the very reason I have to put him first and centre stage so that all I see is him as opposed to my problem and its consequences. I have known for sometime and have now seen yet again that I need to fully surrender to God. If I don't I will for sure have a Peter moment. A Peter moment is not so bad if I will learn but I don't have to learn the hard and emotionally painful way. The easy way is with God at the centre. The journey of surrendering may not be easy but in the grand scheme of things, for what I will receive, peace and the joy of the Lord, which is not this fleeting happiness of the world that's here today gone tomorrow, God needs to be first especially in those critical life situations especially when I don't understand. I can resort to all these worldly fixes and they may work for sometime but for sure I'll be back! just like I did and ask for the very help I needed in the first place. These worldly fixes appear as short cuts but they have long -term, soul changing implications. God has to be first, there is no other way.
I have been taught yet again, why the Excellent Book says “Lean not on your understanding” because you won’t. I have learnt that if you come with an open heart and tell God how you truly feel, just as a Father would, he will listen, soothe, and console you exactly how you need. He will open your eyes so you can see where you could have done things better. The K.P.M.G God will do this very gently. He will not scald you like earthly parents “Now what is wrong with you?”, “How many times have I told you not to…. “, “I’m fed up with you”. Never ever will God say that to you. Just go and read how Jesus spoke to those who were judged and outcast in the New Testament.
Just because you said you were upset with God; doesn’t mean he will condemn you. Heck, even when we sin, he doesn’t, even though he should. He is an Awesome, Cool and Gentle God like that. He is always open and willing to hear what you have deep inside your heart even if you feel its not nice or kind to him. You might as well say it because he knows what you’re thinking. With anything that’s bothering you or anything that you don’t understand, ask him, open your heart and he will reveal it to you according to his will. Trust him because he knows you, your situation and most importantly how you are looking at your situation and him. Trust him because he would rather give up his life and die for you, to make sure you not only have a good life here in the land of the living but also and especially in eternal life. And let brother T-Pain not fool you that he is the one who is all about the good life. Jesus is all about the good, eternal, everlasting, joyful, peaceful and unsorrowful life. Why? He loves you purely like that.
Related Verses
Isaiah 41:10, Proverbs 3:5, Philippians 4:13, John 8:3-11, 2 Timothy 1:10, Revelation 20:14, Romans 1:4, Matt. 26:69–75, Romans 8:26-27, 1 Thessalonians 5:17–19, 1 Corinthians 2:10, Daniel 2:28, 1 Corinthians 10:14, Exodus 20:3-6, Isaiah 55:9,1 Corinthians 2:9, Colossians 1:17, Job 36:22-24, Matthew 11:29, Mark 10:18, 1 Chronicles 28:9, 1 Chronicles 28:9, John 10:27–28, John 10:28-30, Revelation 21:3-4, James 2:10
#diaheartened #diacouraged #Strike #ThrowInTheTowel #ExcellentBook #KPMG #BFF #Friend #Engulfed #Idol #Commandements #SodomAndGomorrah #Forgive #LimitedUnderstanding # UnlimitedWisdomOfGod #Trust #Love #EternalLife
Next post: 22/11/2022
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Our God is a loving God indeed!