It's Over!

A few days ago, I was working and lost track of time and didn’t get a chance to go for my walk. I aim to finish my work at 6pm so I can go for my walk. Sometimes I’m in the zone and can see 6 o’clock come and see it going to half past and I’m still working. In summer there is no problem because daylight goes even till 10pm, so I’m not rushed to go when its sunny. While I’m currently in Kenya, its not quite the same. When I looked up it was dark.

Darkness is not an issue for me because in winter when its already dark way before 6pm I will still go for my walk. The issue here is I need to see with a 360-degree view, what is on the ground around me. I am based in a place of natural beauty and many of nature loves it too. Yesterday I was chasing monkeys away. On a previous visit some years ago, while in the thick of Long Covid, I was putting on my shoes to go to the garden and thought to myself I don’t remember putting socks inside my shoes. It was not a sock it was a frog! It had found a nice comfy safe place inside my shoe!

My stress mechanism in such times is to fly! I flew from one side of the veranda to the other side, many lengths away. But I wasn’t finished with my flying, I had climbed on the wall and was near the burglar proof. That was daytime, so I was not trying to explore which other animal is around in the dark. But I needed to do my walk. My walks are what have strengthened me and enabled me to be fit to do the things I used to do before getting sick in March 2020.

Before March 2020, I was fit as a fiddle and no physical activity was beyond me. I remember one time moving an unhinged metal garage door, greater in height than me, from the garage to a wall across the garage, some steps away, all by myself. At work I would be up and down the stairs no problem whatsoever. There was a picture I had taken on the last holiday before I got sick, about a week before, and looking at that picture would make me sad.

The picture was taken when I was mid-air. I had jumped for the shot to be taken. In my sick state esp. the beginning years, I could not dare to do such a thing. I would be breathless like I’d done a few marathons, and I would come back to my baseline a week after! The picture would make me sad because it reminded me of a time when i was well.

Between 2020 and 2021 at 9pm I would pray while kneeling on the floor in foetal position specifically for my health. I was tired of being sick and didn’t want the challenges I faced. Walking around the supermarket was like climbing Mt Everest. Placing the items from the trolley to the conveyor belt, felt like a marathon. Carrying the bags from the trolley into the car, felt like carrying 1 tonne and not only would I get out of breath but i would also have chest pain, thankfully on the right side. At work, I couldn’t stand even for 5 minutes. Talking was like I’d done a few marathons, but I had to talk since I was a community pharmacist.

Climbing stairs was difficult I would climb slowly like a tortoise. In the beginning stages even brushing my teeth needed adjustment because if I kept my arm at about 90 degrees as I did, that motion would leave me breathless. I had to keep my arm close to my chest. Towel drying got me breathless. House chores like hoovering were a no go so my mom stayed with me to help me do such including cooking. Peeling potatoes was another breath-taking activity. Cooking our traditional meal Ugali (maize meal) was out of the question. The vigour of cooking it would leave my body disciplining me for a week, the kind of disciplining some of us got as children. As you are smacked your quizzed as to why you did what you did!

There was the social effect too. I was single with no intention of staying that way, but how would I go on dates, during the pandemic, when all I was trying to do was to get better by keeping safe. Safe for me was avoiding crowded places. If I was in Kenya, I would ask to meet in open air places. Some people understood my position, some didn’t. Some thought I was even being too much or even selfish. As time went “friendships” changed. I put in quotes because a friend is there with you in the trenches and has grace for your situation. Then the cultural challenge of when you are in a gathering you’re expected to help around, which is fair.

The challenge of long covid was that there was no outward sign to say I was sick. I looked perfectly ok, minus the weight loss most noted. So telling someone I couldn’t lift the big pot of tea they were asking me to lift, came with a pause and a stare as though I was being defiant and rude. The strengths Long Covid gave me was that where previously I would have cared about what the person might think of me, in this state, my care and concern was for my wellbeing.

I knew what would happen if I pushed myself to please someone or to look culturally appropriate. I also knew the disciplining my body would give me all week. If I was just at home that’s fine, but I was working full time hours, which in hindsight I shouldn’t have and wasn’t given guidance on this from the respective people. So, I had to get my body ready for the full-time working week, which during the pandemic was extra busy.

I found my own way and in August 2021 started going uphill on the recovery journey. Until my cousin died in September 2021. My health went downhill. That led me to make choices for my health and well-being and eventually resigned from my pharmacy position after praying about it and feeling led that it was ok to resign.

Prayer was a big part of my journey as well as reading my Bible. I remember reading the story of the woman with the issue of blood and when Jesus spoke to her, he said “daughter your faith has made you well”. When I read it, in 2020, I really felt like it was Jesus telling me, I will be well. But 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024 came and I didn’t hear Jesus say your faith has made you well, because I was still not well.

A month after I resigned, March 2022, my health went uphill and when I locumed as a pharmacist I was able to stand at work from morning to evening the way I used to before I got sick. My health continued to go uphill, and it reached a stage where I said if I can dance and not feel like I’ve done a marathon and my body doesn’t spank me, then I will know I am fully healed. After the passing of another first cousin of mine, which is what brought me to Kenya, I realised how far I’d come in my journey.

I was able to help out and there was no physical activity I couldn’t do. I would often thank God because if it was a few years ago there is no way I would have been able to help as I did. Over the years I also noticed coming back to baseline if i overdid it or overestimated my ability went from 7 to 3 days then just that day when I’d overdone it. But I am intentional not to over do it because I'm not going back.

The day when it was dark, I decided to dance. Walking has been my medicine. A medicine I have loved taking. Sometimes after work, I’m so done with it that the walk acts as a stress reliever. Sometimes it acts as a therapy session/prayer/venting session with God. Those times I don’t even put my music on for the hour. I talk and talk to God and the walk is then done. Just yesterday I did one of those. Sometimes my walk is a flower photography session from March onwards. I love flowers and I love taking pictures and the flower album on my phone has over 2K pictures of flowers. More are on the cloud! If you go for a walk with me during this season, you would be so irritated because I must stop to take my pictures.

When I walk, I listen to music or podcasts and its just a wonderful me-time as I get fresh air, otherwise me who works from home, would not get to leave the house unless I’m going for an event or church. I’ve seen the strength it has given me and for that reason even if it means going for a walk at 8pm in the dark of winter I will go. I also don’t feel right at the thought of not going. If for some reason I don’t get to do it, I must do some other form of physical activity. This past winter if I missed to walk because it was too cold, I would dance. So, on the day it was too dark to go for a walk, I decided to dance for 30 minutes. I really enjoyed myself and here is where the testimony comes in.

I was ok after, the next day and the whole week! I feel confident to say the long Battle with Long Covid is OVER! I’ve been waiting and 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024 came and went but God knew to release it in 2025. A year that had its own challenges and thanks be to God for letting me be in physical strength while dealing with that other battle. I've only just realised that now as i write this. In my distress God heard my cry, let no one including yourself lie to you that God doesn't hear prayers. In my distress he saw the tears I would shed on my way home on those first days I went back to work. Let no one including yourself lie to you that God doesn't see and collect your tears as the Excellent Book says.

In all my many distresses, too many to list here, he remained the God who sees me like Hagar said, and he never left me nor forsook me.  Let no one including yourself lie to you that God doesn't see or understand what you are going through. In my previous testimony I had said I felt I was in the 90 per cent zone of being recovered. No more 90s only 100s! Hallelujah! What a Great and Awesome God who Heals and Restores.  Let no one including yourself or your mind lie to you that God doesn't Heal and Restore. I know I have said my walk has been my medicine but it was Gods' strength when I was weak and his victorious right hand that was over me that led me to start walking when I could not even stand for 5 minutes! Is anything too hard for the Lord!  Let no one including yourself or your feelings lie to you that God can't do what you have not been able to do for yourself.

It is God alone who has healed me. There is currently no cure for Long Covid. I repeat, is anything too hard for the Lord? He has used what he has used but his Victorious Right hand has been the one behind my recovery. Over 2 million in the UK are still struggling with Long Covid and more worldwide. The song Grace, Grace, comes to my mind. Only Gods' Marvelous Grace has brought me here. Not anything I have done.

One of the many beautiful things about Jesus is he always fights for everyone including Gods' daughters.  Let no one lie to you that God favours men only and women have no place. LIE! The same way he covered the woman who was caught in adultery so she wasn't stoned, the same way he positioned himself so the Samaritan woman, from a despised group, could find him at the well and be changed by the end of the conversation, the same way he did for Mary Mag as I call her aka Mary Magdalene, not only casting out 7 demons out of her but being her advocate when the high people of the church were looking down on her for doing a wonderful thing, the same way he raised the son of the widow of Nain out of compassion for her, is the same way this beautiful Jesus has come through for me in my time of need, rescued and healed me. Haaaaallllelujah!

Because he is the same Jesus yesterday today and forever. Always there for us in our time of need, lo till the end of time. Now I know through Jesus the author and finisher of the faith I have had to believe I will recover from this mysterious illness, he has said, “Daughter your faith has made you Fully well.” God is Good, God is Great, God Sees Me Through All.