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Walk by Faith. Sight is Doom & Gloom

miss_tpa

When the idea popped into my head I thought "No! surely I can't do that! can I”?

A year ago, today I made a life changing decision. A series of events shortly before November 15th 2021 led me to this place where I was taking what many I spoke to said was a "Bold" move. I didn't see it as a bold move. I just knew it was a decision that I had to make in the spirit of self-preservation. I did what I do, I did what I know, I prayed about it.


I prayed about it hoping I will get a clear answer immediately. The first 2 days, I didn't get anything coming to me. I thought, “well where did that idea come from”? As everyone does, I have a small circle of people I can go to, if I have tough decisions to make. However, for this one, I couldn't approach them for many yet simple reasons. I hadn't received the answer to my prayer i.e., the wisdom to know exactly what to do. I also didn't know if I would continue with the steps required if I was to go ahead with the decision. If I summarise all the other reasons, they would all come under, I just didn't know what to do and may be even what I was doing. The reason many had said it was a bold move was because in these kinds of decisions that many people have been in, you first make sure all your ducks are in a row.


I didn't have a duck let alone ducks, didn't have a pond or water body or small plot that said ducks would then be in a row even while on land. I had nothing other than an idea that I couldn't even own because I didn't know where it came from, so I didn't know if it was or would be endorsed by the One who endorses all plans and gives the final say. I had nothing. On the 3rd day (interesting), I started feeling I was being pushed towards making the decision to go for it. Ordinarily, this would have and should have felt scary, brought some physical symptoms of said fear and all other fruits of fear-panic, anxiety, worry etc. I didn't get any of that. Not one. This was looking like an extra-ordinary situation and a year later I can say indeed it has shown itself to be a positively extra-ordinary situation.


On that 3rd day, I felt peace and calm even though I was sort of throwing myself into the fire, since I had no duck and thus no ducks in a row. I actually felt good and I’d never felt like this before. If I was honest, this was a move that was a long time coming but because I had always thought you have to have your ducks in a row, I never ever thought of doing it this way. This scary and yes bold way. I then realised why I didn't tell my usual thought and wisdom circle. In my head I thought they would probably say "how can you! you must have your ducks in a row!". But I realised the main reason I didn't tell my entire circle was this was the first time in my life, I was making a "bold" move. I was taking a leap of faith and I wanted to do the first stages with my BFF in heaven. I probably also needed him to give me some inner strength and courage to go through with this bold move.


I remember seeing a meme that said, "Not everyone has your faith". Please note I have mustard seed faith. I do aspire to reach, Abraham, Shadrack, Meshack, Abednego (S.M.A), Daniel, Job, Peter, the woman with the issue of blood, the woman whose child was ill, the friends who put their paralytic friend through the roof, kind of faith. Whether singularly or all of them combined, I don't mind. Oh, Jesus what am I asking for, oowi! So, I didn't want or rather I feared someone may say something and I did not want to be discouraged, panic that oh my goodness yes I should have my ducks in a row. I just wanted to go boldly before where actually as I found out later, a lot of people had been.


On this 3rd day, I watched a sermon (online) that was those sermons where you feel you are being personally spoken to. I did not personally know this pastor. I love how another sermon spoke about this. When the Excellent Book says "I Knew you in your mother’s womb" these sermons that you feel are personally talking to you are testimonies to that verse. Before my birthday, God knew everything that would happen in my life. He worked everything out such that he gave the preachers I would listen to a specific word for me to suit the specific season I was in. So next time you hear a sermon speaking to your core just know God planned for that a long time ago before you were born and that's why that word touches your entire spirit. From that sermon I was no longer afraid or scared. I was going do it! And most importantly I felt I was going with God’s guiding hand.


It reached a point where I had to tell key parties and I still felt at peace and calm. This is how I knew this was a special and divinely co-ordinated move. What I have come to learn in this year is that decisions you make that are heavenly endorsed will give you peace and calm even as you are in the fire. You should be this and that, but you have that peace that surpasses all understanding. I understood perfectly well that the decision I was making was one that if I walked by sight was a decision that was not advised, risky, filled with uncertainty and very far from logic/ sense. Because I was able by God's grace purely, to connect with his will somehow, I made a decision that meant that just like my Bible heroes S.M.A, though I found myself in a fire of some sorts (the difference being it was actually me who “threw” myself in the furnace), I would be fully covered by God’s usual K.P.M.G.(see previous post) character just like he did for them.


Throughout this year and even those times when I felt the furnace was heated 7 times over and definitely not by me, He still covered me, just like he always has. He covered my spirit in every way. Yes, the heat was on many times, but just like S.M.A my mantle was NEVER harmed. I have lived to tell the tale and again purely because of God's K.P.M.G character, you will not know or smell even soot of where I have been, not just in this season but throughout my existence. You will only know because I will share with you my testimony, of which this is just a shortened version of the fuller one that I will share one day soon. I couldn’t let the day go without saying why I think God is good all the time.


My BFF in heaven has kept me and taught me the true meaning of all those Gospel songs you hear. You sustain, Made a way. But most of all he has shown me personally what the Excellent Book means when it says God is Faithful. He has walked with me like the patient and gentle Father that he is. Just like a child, I have been angry, pouted and he never took his K.P.M.G. EVER away from me. And now when I see or rather get a glimpse of what he has been doing all along!!!! that I did not know about or even see, in fact could NEVER have SEEN! I can’t help but testify of his K.P.M.G and EVERLASTING LOVE that is never dependent on me, Thank God!


Thank you, Jesus, for bringing me to this beautiful place where I am enjoying and thriving even when the journey is still not complete. Thank you for the reassurance that you have shown me personally that "Nothing is too hard for you". Thank You for always being willing to do exceedingly abundantly far more than I can EVER ASK, THINK, or IMAGINE, because this is exactly what you have done for me yet again, this year. Thank you for November 15th, 2021, because it has brought me to November 15th, 2022, a place I did not ever think I could be, and the great news is I know by Faith, there's even more! to come. Because you are cool and awesome like that. Always there to help me do the Bold and achieve the Beautiful.

Thank you, Jesus.


Related verses

2 Corinthians 5:7, Philippians 4:6–7, Psalm 37:23-24, Proverbs 16:9, Matthew 7:21, Acts 5:29, Deuteronomy 28:1, Jeremiah 1:5, Jeremiah 31:3, Ephesians 3:20, Psalm 68:35




Next post: 20/11/2022


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