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  • miss_tpa


Shame, embarrassed, don’t belong, different, what will people think, how will I be judged/perceived, left out, overlooked, don’t fit in, odd one out, missing out, are some of the feelings I have had in my life. These sorts of feelings can then affect your self-esteem and confidence. Everyone wants to feel they belong, so when you feel you don’t, you can make choices to do things that you perceive will make you fit in, belong and be accepted so that people don’t see you as the odd one out or different.

I can’t believe the best month of the year, May, is ending today as I write this. I am not only saying it’s the best because it’s my birthday month. It has been the best month for me this year because yes, my birthday was the best ever, and see previous post My Best Days Are Always Ahead of Me, but also because of the continued revelations I’ve had since my birthday. Yesterday, I got a revelation that I wish I would have realised much earlier, nevertheless a lesson is never too late.

In our thinking we believe by a certain age, somethings should be obvious by the time you’ve reached my age of 4 floors and one step. But this is not how God works. He will show you something when he has prepared you for it whether you are in your 40s, 50s, 80s or 90s. You are not late! You are just in time, because God is a Just in time God and never a late God.

There is power in a name, and I am not convinced some of the baby names I hear especially on social media, have been given this important consideration. We had a marvellous campaign at my church that ended a week ago. The guest pastor and the host pastor are friends and there was a running joke on the host pastor’s middle name. I am only just realizing that that was the “appetizer” to set the ball rolling for the revelation I would have less than a week after the campaign. Nothing we do or hear is ever random. All things are truly working for our good.

I realized that God, foreseeing my feelings from childhood to adulthood, inspired my mom to give me my middle name, which perfectly reflects His Great understanding and Phenomenal care for my journey. My middle name is therefore not an accident, in the same way no child is ever an accident. God knew I would carry feelings I shouldn’t even carry. God wanted me to know I am special and so long as I was brought into this earth it means I fit in. God wanted me to know I have value and worth, through the celebration I mark every Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday.

God wanted me to know it is him who has the first and last say in my identity. I don’t even think my mom knew there would be a deeper name to the name she gave me. If God says I am special and unique no one can say no. Well, they can but it is my rightful place to dismiss them because God is not a man that he should lie. If he says I am unique then I am. Most of all I need to carry myself out in the way God sees me. Have I done that? A sad no.

Being unique is not a bad thing at all. It is the very reason we are each here.  I love how some writing said it. God looked at all the marvellous stars of the galaxy and other galaxies, he looked at the beautiful oceans and everything gorgeous on this earth, decided something was missing and created you. Hallelujah!

Unique and Special are in God’s eyes and terms, not the S.I unit of the world which is mostly faulty. You are unique and special regardless of what the world insinuates about your circumstances, past or present. Most of all God has the final say. For me God created the solution to my feelings when I was born, and I only caught up to it yesterday. God already prepared the solution to your problem and one day you will catch up to it.

In my nickname of TPA, which comes from the initials of my full names, the P is the name I am talking about. And to think I used want to hide this name from people. What an intentional God to make this official in my birth certificate, so that when those erroneous feelings come up of feeling ashamed, embarrassed and I don’t belong, I only need to remind myself of my middle name and say NO! What an amazing way to end the best month of the year by finding out God wanted me to know I am Precious.  

God is Good, God is Great, God is Ultimately the Best!

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Jun 04


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