Fibroids, Belly Fat & Body Image: When You Don't Like What You See

A few days ago, I went to a party.

The dress code was gold, so I wore a figure-hugging gold dress I'd bought for my birthday last year.

Last year, I wore it with a tummy control garment and knew that, for photos, I'd probably be holding my tummy in. The things women do!

This year was different.

Even the control garment couldn't hide my stomach.

If I'm honest, that really upset me.

It wasn't the first time I'd noticed the change. Last month, I'd measured my waist because I knew my tummy had become bigger and I wanted to do something about it. I wanted to know where I was starting from. I initially comforted myself by saying, "It's the fibroids." After all, mine are the size of a 22-week pregnancy.

But if I'm being completely honest...

It's not just the fibroids.

It's fibroids and belly fat.

That realisation was difficult.

In fact, I was so conscious of my stomach that I didn't even want to dance. There are clothes I love wearing that I'm now avoiding because of how my tummy looks. I don't like that.

But here's what surprised me...

Over the last three years, I've made some of the biggest improvements to my lifestyle.

Today's grocery shop contained vegetables, seeds, nuts, watermelon, lentils, mung beans, chicken... and toilet paper. No cake. No Ice cream. No snack.

For me, I follow what I heard someone call the "see-food diet."

If I see it, I'll eat it.

If I don't buy it, I won't eat it.

This summer, while everyone else has been enjoying ice cream, I've been having Greek yoghurt with walnuts, chia seeds and cinnamon instead. The other reason is because of a dentist visit earlier in the year that revealed I had issues on 3 teeth! The dentist explained even with the little fruit I was having in my veggie + nuts + seeds smoothie (half apple, few berries and 3 prunes), it may have had an impact because when you juice the sugar becomes more concentrated than when you eat it naturally.

With my seeds and nuts I've become a bird! If only I could fly away on holiday too!

I've built digestive walks into my day from last year.

I've reduced my carb portions.

This month I'm doing a variety of things including a more intentional swap of complex carbs like sweet potatoes instead of rice and pasta and making sure my meals contain more varieties of vegetables and more varieties of protein (within portion guidance) because I realised when I do that, it works in helping me stay full. I honestly then don't have room for any snacks.

I've noticed what protects my sleep is ensuring I start closing down the day at 4pm. This means any heavy task still pending gets carried over to the next day. I have learnt in the last 2 years to reassure myself that nothing bad happens if it's carried over. Truly nothing bad has ever happened.

Work messages (WhatsApp) also get responded to before 6pm. Any that I can't respond to before then get archived and the next day I unarchive them. My curiosity will get to me and I will want to respond.  Again it's the thing that if I don't see it I won't be tempted to act on it. This is a boundary I also like to keep to ensure work is done during work hours just as I would support my clients to do.

When I do this, I am able to finish at 6pm, wind down, eat, go for my digestive walk, play on social media until I'm done, do my bed time routine which includes listening to a sermon and get to bed by 11 pm. When I don't sleep by 11pm not only is my sleep quality poor, and there is a scientific reason for that, but despite finishing my water at my usual cut off time, way before bed time, I will wake up multiple times at night to use the bathroom, thanks to the fibroids.

So where has the belly fat come from?

When I stopped to reflect, one answer stood out.

Stress.

Running a business is stressful enough. This year I've also taken on another major project which has been incredibly stressful. When I honestly looked at the last few months, I realised stress has probably had a big factor into this belly. From my long Covid journey, which thankfully ended after 5 years, it was then I discovered my body had become highly sensitive to stress or emotional distress. This year there's definitely been a lot of that. While I thought I was managing it with my long walks that I love, praying, having community, it's apparent that something somewhere needs adjusting.

Stress, poor sleep and hormonal changes can all influence where our bodies store fat. Between the fibroids and my age, it may look like things are against me, but from my Long Covid experience, I have seen how lifestyle adjustments can have a major impact in my quality of life.

Many times our bodies are telling us a story that we need to pay attention to. What is your body currently telling you it needs?

In addition to stress there was a period where I had more cake and ice cream than I should have and I believe the impact was building up to what I am now seeing. This is the thing about health. We may think we are ok for now, but the unhealthy habits are causing an impact inside, that will only be seen outside, much later.

The Body Image Battle

Throughout history, body shape has influenced how attractiveness has been judged. Today, social media has made that pressure even greater.

The reality is that many of the images we compare ourselves to are filtered, edited or simply unrealistic.

Yet we still compare ourselves!

60 % of adults in the UK report that they feel ashamed with the way they look. 70% of adult women and 40% of adult men report that they have felt pressure from media and that they have to have the perfect body. It is estimated that roughly 2/3 of adults have a negative body image. (Report of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Body Image, 2014).

I've had to remind myself of the same advice I give my own clients.

You don't have to love every part of your body today.

But you do need to stop fighting it.

It's much easier to make healthy changes from a place of positivity, feeling good, self-respect than from self-criticism.

So these are the reminders I'm choosing to tell myself:

Current talk: I don't like my stomach...

Reframe: I'm grateful I have a healthy and functioning stomach

Current talk: The size is annoying...

Reframe: Just as I’ve worked on my weight before, I will work on this and be patient

Current talk: I look pregnant

Reframe: I have fibroids the size of 22 week pregnancy

Accepting where you are today, with the present facts of your health doesn't mean you've given up.

It simply means you're choosing to move forward without being hard or unrealistic on yourself along the way.

3 ways to improve body image while you're working towards your goal

• Practise body acceptance. Look in the mirror and describe your body without criticism. List 3 things you like, 3 things you think are ok and 3 things you dislike. Be gentle to yourself (it will reduce your stress levels) and reframe what you say about the areas you dislike.

• Wear clothes that make you feel good now! Don't wait until you've reached your goal.

• Reduce comparison. Curate your social media and remember that many "perfect" bodies aren't real (AI is also playing its part)

Your worth will also never be determined by your waist measurement!

A final thought

One thing I've learnt about myself since I was 16 is this:

When something genuinely bothers me, I take action.

I know reducing my belly fat won't happen overnight, but I also know that lasting change is built through consistent habits, not quick fixes.

So that's what I will keep reminding myself.

Not perfection.

Progress.

Another helping aid, is having a screen saver on my phone with the vision I want. This idea came up when a health coach asked me what could I do to overcome the temptation of cake & ice cream. Having the visual has really helped reduce the desire to buy cake or ice cream. It's also helping me stay focused on what I know I need to do.

Support Helps

That idea never came to me in all my many reflections, despite my role! Talking to someone brought it up. There are blind spots we may not see ourselves and sometimes a question from someone else can bring out the creativity you need for the journey. Doing it alone is ok. If it becomes a challenge, talking to someone can reduce the burden of the journey and help you come up with realistic and exciting ideas that will work for you.

As a Health Coach, I support clients to build healthier habits, improve body image and create realistic lifestyle changes within my scope of practice.

However, if concerns about your body image are significantly affecting your mental health, self-esteem or daily life, I encourage you to speak with a qualified counsellor or therapist. They have the expertise to help you explore those thoughts and feelings in greater depth.

You deserve support for both your physical and emotional wellbeing.

If there’s an area of your body that you are not happy with, what can you do to make yourself feel good so you can then make the changes (e.g., lifestyle) you would like to make? Click here to talk about it.