A miracle is a miracle. Something that has never happened. Something that can’t be explained. Something for which there is no logic, defies odds, defies human abilities and capabilities. A miracle is unbelievable to some, questionable to others and impossible for many. You can have the same group of miracles e.g., people were healed from different conditions, people were delivered from the financial cul-de-sac’s they had been in, but when a miracle happens twice, is it still a miracle or is it now a pattern?
Should we ask for patterns, or should we ask for miracles? I don’t know about you, but I want miracles- things that have never happened. What’s the good in receiving patterns- things that have already happened. What’s the good in that especially when you know there is a God? Not just any God, not a statue God, not a God that has to be made by human hands, not a God that you can see with your naked eyes, but a God who defeats death! Excuse me, I’m asking for my miracles.
My testimony for 21-30 is summarized by deliverance and the beginning of sight. Not the usual sight of I can see clearly now the rain has gone, but sight to know the rain will indeed go. It was the beginning of the syllabus of me understanding what brother Marley sang “Every little thing is gona be alright!” I didn’t know everything would be ok and it didn’t feel like they would. I couldn't see, that they could, but my living testimony is that everything worked out the way it was supposed to and it was alright. It sounds like those things people say all the time, but I really believe it. Because my goodness if things would have gone my way. OOOOOOWI!
21-30s, the fun was now on another level because now I was in university, free as a bird, enjoying life as an adult with my own pocket money. This was the era I had hopes and dreams of how my life would turn out and the era I was shown, life doesn’t go how you want it go all the time, AND its ok because there is another way. A perfect example is at my 4th floor birthday which I will share in the next post.
I was the typical girlie girl who planned/dreamed of how my life would go in various aspects. I would finish uni at 22, get a job, be settled in myself as a responsible adult, taking care of myself. Once I was established, I would then look to settle down. I would meet the guy, be friends for a year, date for three, get married at 26, establish ourselves in the marriage for 2 years, have the first kid at 28, establish ourselves with the new addition for 2 years then at 30 have the last and final kid. Chapter done and closed. Let me tell you the shock and disbelief I had when it was very clear this was not happening.
Another constitution element of my testimonies is that God has made it possible for me to know him and I am so glad he brought me to this place of knowing him. It is during this era when I can say I was in Faith school. This is when my devotion to attend church began. No matter what I did he previous day, however late or early I slept (because of clubbing), I would take my tail to church. I also started watching God channels on tv and was really inspired by the sermons I heard. It is in this era that I began my prayer life. I pray many times and about anything and everything. It is my lifeline and the source of my mental health, faith and hope.
I heard an excellent sermon not long ago on how prayer began. God used to visit Adam in the garden of Eden and they would just talk face to face. When his Mrs! (still not amused by these ancestors of mine) ate that fruit and sin came into the picture, those daily visits and face to face talks ended. Prayer became the alternative to get these visits and face to face talks. If it weren't for my ancestors, I could be here on this nice sunny day just chopping it up with God face to face! Nevertheless, the day is coming! Hallelujah!
I thank God for prayer because when I say I talk to God, I really do, just like he is my friend down here on earth. Truthfully, He is my friend and I tell him everything epu! I love this for me because its teaching me to be vulnerable with others. If I can talk to God (of the Universe!) feel no shame knowing he doesn't judge me and between me and him, he is the one rooting for me and saying I am doing better, why can't I feel free to open up to my fellow human that I believe I am safe with. Now, I need to continue the syllabus of learning to listen to him, because when you’re talking with someone, you’re in a dance of someone talks the other listens and vice versa.
In this 21-30period, an era of full understanding (full compared to as a child) of all thing’s life, I now knew I had access to the one who makes things possible. When I saw my dream/vision/wish/plan was not happening, I prayed, I fasted, I lamented, I asked others to pray. It still didn’t happen. Why wasn't it happening when this was seemingly its time? I did the whole academia thing, nursery to university. I was doing the career thing, why wasn't it happening? The thing about focussing on what’s not going well, you don’t focus on what’s going well.
My new career was going well. I met Fabolous colleagues along the way, some I am still in touch with to this day. I had written to my boss asking to be put in a branch and shortly after I was put as the manager of the branch. I had a fabulous team, that again I am still in touch with some 17 years later. It was a busy and highly stressful branch, but we all worked well and hard. One time my area manager came and gave me and one of my colleagues a lunch treat for doing a good job. Another time I was given a raise again for a good job done. Things were going well in this area of my life.
I went home that day and remembered the line from brother Billy Dee Williams “success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.” I took myself back to the prayers asking for that 1yr,3yr,2yr, plan of mine to come through. The urgency of the prayers increased as I approached 30. In my little eyes and little wisdom, it was an unthinkable to be 30, working, unmarried with no fruit of mine womb. Here is the interesting part that must have been very clear to my father in heaven, not me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the reason, he didn’t make things possible as I cried out for him to. Who was this I was getting married to because during this era…oooowi! That's all I can say because those are God's sons.
On top of that I was also learning about friendships the hard way as this area was also not going as I wanted. There was conflict from the usual disagreements as friends or even cousins, and one situation where I felt the girl code had been broken. How was I asking to go into the biggest institution of my life when I didn’t have a tribe. Life was also happening such that my friends and I were not on the same chapters or even book of life. I found one party naturally settled in the north pole and the other party the south pole. We didn’t hang out as we used to, we didn’t talk like we used to, and I hated this. The worst part was we didn’t fall out, one just settled in the north pole and one on the south pole. I repeat, I hated it because things were different. Different good is good but different separated or estranged, I don’t like.
When Jesus says no to your prayer, he knows why he is saying no and that is the testimony to this era. I strongly believe if my 1yr,3yr,2yr plan had come true, it would have been disastrous. For anyone reading this, every day we have slept, we have woken up and have been given the breath of life and oxygen to carry on. We never ask for it, but God knows we need it, so he just provides it. If God wants something for me, he will make it happen whether I ask and especially if I still don’t ask. He is Good like that.
In that spirit, if my life was to go a certain way, if my 1yr,3yr, 2yr plan was to happen it would have happened. Just because I don’t know why exactly it didn’t happen doesn’t mean there wasn’t a reason why it didn’t happen. In my mid to late 30s I discovered I didn’t know so much and if my 1yr,3yr, 2yr plan had come to life, guaranteed it would have been a stormy experience for all concerned. God wants joy and love for us all, so may be if he is saying no, there is no peace, joy, love coming out of that prayer request, so he has to say no. THANK YOU JESUS! Or he just has another plan that we just can't understand with our restricted capacity as humans.
The moon has its time to shine and the sun its own. It doesn’t mean either is late in shinning. My testimony is that in this era of 21-30, where somehow, I believed/ was conditioned to think like the world does, that unmarried at 30 is something that shouldn’t happen, God opened my eyes on time to see that was a lie! I had believed that lie to the point I told God, at this point he might as well call me home like Elijah and Enoch, there’s nothing to see here. Let me be clear I wanted him to zap me up. Only by the protection of God, I haven't been suicidal. I just wanted him to zap me up.
A week before my 30th birthday, I realised what I was saying and not recognizing, and I was so remorseful and did a one week fast before my birthday, just to say Thank you God and forgive my raggedy self. I had life, I had a job, I was growing spiritually, I still had a good circle of friends and family. At this time, I was even enjoying a trip in the U.S.A and would shortly be surprised to a trip to N.Y.C by my 2 younger cousins. Why would I dare say there was nothing to see here and ask to be called home. I had the important things!
Friendship, love, the ability to go for these holidays that I love and so many other things. This is why we are asked to count our blessings, naming them one by one. I have a gratitude document that at night, I name the blessings of the day. Document because I prefer typing than handwriting. Also, my handwriting is for the angels to handle, plus handwriting is tiring.
The other day when I was writing it, I suddenly realised the beauty of 3 things that had happened that day. I recognised there was a theme of God compensating me for somethings that hadn’t happened. I didn’t see it until I saw it. After my encouragement to read the Excellent Book everyday, my other encouragement is keep a gratitude journal, you will be surprised at the good things you end up seeing even if you had a horrible day.
My testimony for 21-30 was though it was the beginning of life happening- misunderstandings, disappointment, confusion, things not going my way, in fact did they even go, God was still doing something, and he opened my eyes to wake up and smell the coffee or the roses, let me say roses because I love flowers (check out my IG@my_little_understanding (https://instagram.com/my_little_understanding?igshid=MzNlNGNkZWQ4Mg==).
There is beauty in all things, even in the difficult times, you just have to look for it and be open that its there. as the wisest man beyond Solomon, said "Only Believe"- Jesus. It reminds me of the story of Hagar in the desert. She was crying out to God, not seeing a way around her situation. She had even moved away so she doesn't see her son die in front of her eyes. Then God opened her eyes and she saw the well of water. She thought the worst was going to happen, but God had a plan.
My testimony of this era is that any plan of mine can never supersede the plan of God. Gods’ ways are far much higher and wiser and better than mine, so his plans are far much higher, wiser and excellently better than mine. I am getting better at seeing and accepting this truth. I still may not know his exact plan, but he has been kind to let me see and conclude for myself, how there was no way my 1yr,3yr, 2yr plan could have and should have been executed.
The other testimony of this era is how he has given me peace and more acceptance than before (still working progress) that everything is working exactly as it should. Nothing is happening randomly or by luck. God is ordering our steps because he is in full control of everything inside and outside this universe. Knowing that, am I going to stress about how my life is going or not going? Not as much as I used to. Another testimony. Thank you, Jesus.
When the world is still going on about how you should have this (career, house,) at this age and that (kids, tesla) by this age, am I going to fall, listen and believe that lie? No! Do I recognise who is behind such lies? Yes, only the father of lies! Do I understand why he wants me to believe such lies? Yes. He wants me to be stressed and anxious so that my body suffers for it e.g., weight gain, insomnia, ill health, mysterious illnesses that can’t be traced by the most high tech NASA outer space equipment and can’t be explained by the Einstein of Einstein’s of Specialists. There was a time I used to be sickly, and I read a magazine about stress and when I removed the sources of stress as it suggested (e.g., friendships that had passed their sell by date, in fact they shouldn’t have stepped into the house to begin with) I stopped being sickly. Stress is Death.
The father of lies wants me to believe those lies, so I feel low in my spirit, knowing that in that space, nothing positive will come out- action, behaviour and belief in God. A domino effect of more negative things then happens because now I’m vulnerable and just making poor choices because ultimately, this father of lies wants to steal, kill and destroy me. He uses anything and anything: conflict, gossip, worldly conditioning, isolation etc, BUT! There is a God who never sleeps and has already told me what I should believe and has a whole Book of how things should go. Before I believe anyone, I need to believe what this Excellent Book of his says.
Am I going to remember how it says I am fearfully and wonderfully made regardless of my position in society? Absolutely Yes! Am I going to dismiss any statement that is not from God or has no fruit of God in it? Most certainly with God's help I will. Am I going to remember how he has opened doors for so many women in the Excellent Book like Sarah, Hannah, Rachel, Elizabeth? Yes!
Am I going to remind myself how Sarah was even in menopause when she conceived? Most definitely Yes! Am I going to remember how Sarah laughed at that the thought of a miracle- having a baby in menopause and how God himself asked, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” 100% Yes. I will remember this and most of all remind myself, when things were emotionally hard for me in this 21-30 era, they were never hard for this Father of mine in Heaven. How do I know they were not hard for him? Am I not here telling the tale because one thing about this life is, The Battle is the Lord’s, and he ALWAYS wins.
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Related verses
James 1:6-16
Philippians 1:6
Romans 12:2
Isaiah 55:8-9
Galatians 6:9
Isaiah 60:22
James 5:13
Colossians 4:2
Romans 12:12
1 Corinthians 13:12
Psalm 145:8-12
Isaiah 28:23
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Psalm 27:13
Ecclesiastes 3:11
John 10:10
1 Chronicles 29:11-12
Genesis 18:12
Genesis 21:17-20
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