After the greatest testimony in my life so far there is this one which I don’t know how to write and give God the justice he deserves. How do you write about a testimony that started 3 years and is still loading. How do you accurately depict the goodness and faithfulness God has shown. Nevertheless, I will certainly try because anyone who reads this needs to know how Powerful, Gracious, totally Awesome and Undefeated God is.
I didn’t know Covid had got me till I read an article in August 2020 in the BMJ, describing Long Covid. My friend who had walked with me in that 5 month journey of not knowing what was wrong sent it to me. I read the article and immediately identified my symptoms and for the first time, it gave me an idea of what was happening. There is some relief in knowing why your body is no longer the same.
My illness started in March 2020. I was well in the daytime when I went to work, when people were panicking about everything including toilet paper. On my way home from work that day I could feel I was going to get sick. I went to the supermarket to get groceries in case I was not able to make it the next day. Even bread! was not available. The next day for sure I was not well and called my Dr. The only symptom I had was breathlessness that was different to the asthma breathlessness. My Dr tried antibiotics because it didn’t seem like covid. I didn’t have the typical 2 other symptoms of covid at the time. To be on the safe side she signed me off so that in my vulnerable state I didn’t then get covid. I certainly wasn’t going to go to my healthcare work environment and expose myself to covid. Ndio utajua hujui (you will know that you don’t know) It would later turn out I had already got the darn virus by that time.
At that time testing was only available if you were admitted in hospital. My body seemed to deteriorate as time went by and it just wanted me to sit and not talk. Any activity would get me breathless like I’ve run 50 marathons back to back ok may be not 50 but I was breathless. I shouldn’t say it like that because during that time when “we don’t know much about Covid” some medical dr’s thought a lot of patients were exaggerating or it was "anxiety". 3 years on, the Long Covid groups are still up and running (I just joined a Kenyan one the other day) indicating, Long Covid is real and people still haven't fully recovered.
There were 2 nights I could not sleep in that March 2020. I have always slept like a tumble dryer. I start on the left, then right, then back, then tummy, rinse and repeat. On these 2 nights, none of that spin cycle worked and I literally did not sleep. PS: I love my sleep, so I was very frustrated. God saw my struggle and I saw how dr’s were putting patients in the prone position on tv. On the tummy on a flat area as possible. I am a typical girl and I ditched my 3 pillows that I sleep with and only used one flat one and slept on my tummy. I slept incredibly well and to date that is how I sleep.
When I slept on my back, left or right, and especially on my back I would feel like I was suffocating. By April 2020 Thank you Jesus I could sleep on my left side, however I was still not well and was signed off for 3 months in total. Let me tell you the God of Shadrack, Abraham and Abednego made it that despite my illness which restricted me in so many ways,(up to now), and was physically alone, those 3 months were some good times. How is that even possible?
With God ANYTHING is possible. I would wake up, follow my timetable that I had set for myself to make use of all this time I now had. I updated myself in matters of my healthcare role, something I didn’t have as much time to do usually. Then in the evening I would watch Netflix and prime, which had some good movies and series. I never struggled to find anything. The best was Verzuz which yes would come late, but where was I going early the next day? Nowhere! Wooohooo! The epic one was Babyface (who I Love) and Teddy Riley. I enjoyed watching Verzuz.
Also special to me now, was that my now late cousin would remind me when Verzuz was starting because she was on that side of the world and sometimes, I may be up but just forget. It became our pandemic thing. Then there were the Djs on Facebook and those too were fun. This Awesome super natural God made sure that through my ill season, there were so many things that would keep my spirit boosted and unlike others going through Long Covid, I can testify my mental health was in tact this whole 3 years. I saw a post the other day saying the power of and. For me I have been sick and well. ONLY GOD and his goodness not me and anything I could have done.
Did I cry during that period? Yes I did, as I am an advocate for expressing and letting out your feelings. For me that works for me and even with that, my spirits were not shattered as I know in the natural they should have. The first time I cried was Dec 2020 when it was now 9 months and still hadn't recovered. I remember in May 2020 I was about to cry, and I said no! God is in control, I won’t cry as if he is not. I remember that (trust me there are some things in life you just don’t forget), and it’s like the tears that were coming, ran back to the eye socket in a way that makes Bolt running a 100m race looks like he is running at tortoise speed.
I went back to work with adjustments. I was to sit and not lift. I did it and every Monday and Tuesday after work, for some weeks, on my way home, in the car, I would cry. How was I going to work? The adjustments were not enough. By the strength and Grace ONLY God gives, Wednesdays I never cried and by Friday I was strong. This Awesome God sustained me until the time I left in Feb 2022. Before I returned to work in June 2020, both my Dr and mom encouraged me to try and see if I could go to work. I tried and I saw and November 2021 after evaluating life after the loss of my cousin, I decided a few things and one of them was I'd tried enough.
From that point God was taking me on a journey and in a direction, I could never have dreamed of. I found what I believe is my purpose in life in the new career path God revealed to me, health coaching. That is a testimony I will share in the next not -long- weeks to come, when I get certified. A journey that I have enjoyed. Who enjoys learning and the associated practicals? When God is before you and has led you there, you do. How I also know its God, is there are points that I know should scare me but I am trusting the same way he brought me here, he will take care of me there and I am not scared. I know I should be but I'm not. Only Jesus.
The help through my illness especially in the first year, confirmed to me how God puts people in your life literally to help you. From my mom, my neighbour Sharon, people in the airport when I’ve needed help with luggage, people on LinkedIn giving such great advice and guidance, colleagues helping me with the adjustments etc. God is Good, God is Great God is the Best.
God has not forsaken me when I have needed him and I know that because of the strength that he has given me to go through these 1,095 +consecutive days of illness and counting. I have not been one to ask for help, but let me tell you God has helped me accept where I am, with no shame and even unapologetically. I have not looked at asking for help as anything other than I need it. This was something I struggled with at work. If I need help, I am asking (kindly) and it doesn’t matter if I know you or not, I will ask. Things like that have made me so proud of myself and my growth where again in the natural I know my self-esteem should be down, but for this Supernatural, Sovereign God who gives life and resurrects the dead, what is Long Covid and Covid for him! Nothing!
When the medical teams around me and I didn’t know what was happening oh he knew! And even now when they still don’t know what to do, he knows and continues to help me in HIS way not mine, and I am ok with it. I went from my body just wanting me to sit and do nothing to walking 12,000 steps in a day, thanks to my Dr in Kenya who advised me to keep the body moving so it doesn’t get used to this state. My Dr in Kenya because it came to a point the crumbling NHS system was not helping me in my time of need. I read the article identifying Long Covid could be the issue in August 2020 and was officially NHS diagnosed in April 2021, a year and a month after I’d been ill. This is after pushing to be attended to. Without this strength of God to advocate for myself, I don’t think I would be as I am today with all the progress I’ve made through Jesus. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me is real and not just a verse.
In terms of progress, one time, I did 16k steps one day, but my body was not happy and went on demonstration only for 1 day (before it would go for 3), so I stick to 12k steps Mon to Sun except Sabbath and even then, by the time I’ve gone to church and come back home, I have unintentionally done 7k. I never thought I could walk up hills, Jan 2023, in my 3rd year of illness, I walked up and down a hill 4 times back to back and my body did not have any objections your honour. 2 days before my 3rd year anniversary with this illness, I carried my little hand luggage and some shopping up TWO flights of stairs (14 steps in each staircase) at a reasonable speed not my previous 200 year old tortoise mode, and my exact words to my mom was “This is progress”. God is Good, God is Great, God is the Best!
Here’s the other “contradiction” of all the other ones in these 3 years. Last week, I actually thanked God for this illness and right there you know The Holy Spirit has been doing some work in me because in the previous years, I have really wondered when will this thing go, why is it not going? To come to a place of thanking God for these 1,095+ days is a miracle and is not the usual me. Isn’t this interesting that in this year when I have a big birthday coming up, there is clearly a change in my spirit, mind, outlook and most of all relationship with God. To be at a place where I am not mad at God for allowing this to happen and not be resolved is God alone and the strength and peace that surpasses all understanding.
Last week, I thought there has to be a reason why this illness has gone on for this long, as I could see the 3rd year anniversary was coming. I usually say there is a syllabus God puts us on. Until that syllabus is completed, he will not take us out of that place as much as we want him to. I also believe God has plans for good and not for evil. If he is not allowing us out of that place the syllabus may not be complete. Days later I then heard a sermon saying there are some trials that we just can't pray our way out of. I took that as a sign that God was saying I may be on the right track with that thought I had. It is important that the syllabus is complete because most of all the overall goal is to take us to eternal life. If as a result of these 3 years, I get the grace to enjoy eternal life, that mansion Jesus has been preparing for me, no more sickness and dying because I am going to see the King face to face and say “Jesus is thaaaat youuuuu” then the journey has been worth it. May the syllabus go to completion so that in the words of one pastor D snell “Jesus alone may be praised”.
What is God (not you) saying to you about your situation? Anything he has done for me he is well able to do abundantly and exceedingly far more than you can ever ask, think or imagine, Guaranteed In Jesus name. Only Believe
Hallelujah, God is Good, God is Great, God is ALWAYS the Best!
Related Verses
Genesis 18:14,
Matthew 19:26
Luke 1:37
Psalm 34:1
Revelation 21:4
Jeremiah 29:11
Isaiah 43:19
Philippians 4:5-7
Exodus 34:6
Next post: 31/03/2023
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