My favourite book in the Excellent Book is Psalms. The first time I read it from beginning to end, I just felt like it was speaking exactly to my situation and someone understood. Surprise? No. It’s in the Excellent Book after all, written from a place of unfailing Love and understanding. When I’m reading it again, the same thing is happening. Its speaking to my situation but this time I see the hope and comfort much more than I did previously. It is an excellent book showing the empathy God has for us, his unfailing devotion and commitment to fight for us when we chose him and his no nonsense and thorough justice approach to the wicked. It’s a book that shows under his wings we win in every single way of winning.
The month is ending, the week has ended and true to the nature of God, that he is Good, he showed out again in mighty ways. I did my first webinar as a Health Coach and all I can say is my favourites slogan, God is Good, God is Great, God is Ultimately the best. It started in July when he gave me the courage to decide to do the webinar, the following month, not even knowing what I would say. I am finding myself in a new chapter of life where I am doing things without overthinking and for these certain things its working and it’s a good thing in this space of building my practice.
Sometimes you can overthink things until you end up not doing them, then you wonder why things are not changing for you. It’s YOU holding you back, not God, not your network, no one but you. I am also a natural worry worrier but when I posted the topic and the date, I refused to think about it. From announcing the webinar up to 5 minutes before the webinar I was not scared! That’s One month less 5 minutes. That’s Huge for me and I know it is nothing but God answering my prayers to worry less. The nervousness came in 5 minutes before when the realness of the event hit me in a way it hadn’t and in a way, I had refused to, for my peace.
Through all these testimonies I have shared and plenty others, I have seen God works things out, so what have I to dread, what have I to fear? God will work it out! That is one of my favourite top 3 songs by the way. My friend Liz shared it with me last year at a time God knew I needed it. I had resigned, was looking for my next chapter, wasn’t finding it, wasn’t seeing anything happening, yet my last day at work was soon approaching. That’s when Liz for “some reason” shared with me that song and it would be my anthem throughout. Did God work it out?
During the process of preparing for the webinar, every single day I worked on it, I got so many ideas that I know and believe were not my own. “Jesus lets go to work” “, “you created the body, you know everything, tell me what to say” were some of my discussions with this beautiful Son of God. I talk to him like a friend because he really is my best friend. I tell him everything and not only does he listen, but he gives me solutions that fit my soul! That’s how I know he listens. After the webinar, I was asking God to let me know how I did.
I am also in a phase of seeking to look for God’s approval and not man’s. I brushed the question off because I didn’t feel it would be answered.
I continued with the prayer and a WhatsApp notification came when I was praying. When I finished praying, it was my cousin Tanya. One thing about her, she only gives true, honest feedback and in my feedback language. She had responded to a voice note I had sent to her. Her words were the webinar was “Excellent” and she is “proud of me”. I know that was from her and I know that was God answering my prayer.
While I was praying, he had already answered the prayer. Had I looked at my phone at that time, I would have seen that the prayer was answered instantly! Look at God! This was also special to me because I had told God he knows how validation is a thing for me. He knew it was and just soothed me in a way no money or luxurious item ever can. This is why I say he gives solutions that fit my soul. Thank You Jesus!
Its not only with the big stuff like hosting a webinar with participants in the double digits and I mean much more than 11. Its in small things like this. Its summertime so all the insects and bugs and their allies are out. I usually leave the window open for fresh air and these creatures of God like to come in and disturb my peace. One day I hear this noise and I know its not a fly, this was something that could sting you. It was a wasp. I am scared of wasps and bees. I’ve never been stung but because I know they can sting you…I am not taking any chances.
I was working on the kitchen table and when I heard that noise and saw the root cause, I flew out of that kitchen into the conservatory (sunroom). I closed the door behind me and looked to see if this intruder was still in my personal space. The bug was still there. Then I thought to myself I need to be working on my webinar, I don’t have time for all of this. I returned to the kitchen; I was so scared. Then it hit me why am I scared? “Jesus please tell your animal to go away” my exact words. The wasp went to the window, it must have been crosschecking the aisle because in few seconds it flew out! Glory to God! That would not be my last experience with insects. Lord have mercy!
Days before the webinar, I had prepared for it so much, I was reciting it in my sleep. This week I have had to ask God’s forgiveness for my wandering mind. This past week my mind really wondered during prayer. I would be praying, Lord help me in the webinar, then, I start thinking about what I need to do to it the next day, or I would do a rehearsal in my head, not that it was even my intention to do a rehearsal.
This kind God is so patient with his children and he understands exactly where we are coming from and why we do what we do, so he doesn’t dismiss us. He never said “TPA (one of my nicknames), you’re not praying properly! so tomorrow you will get 20% less Oxygen!” Not My God who is the Lord of heavens armies, the one who loves the World, brown, grey, straight, gay, rich, poor, and all these human divisive categories. Yes, he hates sin but he loves the sinner, the one with a wandering mind who can’t pray “properly” just for few minutes straight. Not to say praying improperly is a sin but as a descendant of Adam & Eve, then add onto that my shortcomings, that’s the source of me being a sinner. BUT! Thank You Jesus! He has turned that around.
The webinar went as I had prayed for. Not only did I give the information, but I was myself and comfortable, very comfortable being myself. This is for sure is the hand of God again! I have lived in the UK for over 2 decades and my friends back in Kenya, jokingly tease, how I don’t sound like I’ve been away. I do know with some words I may need to make an effort to be heard. I am also grateful to God for bringing me to a country where I feel you can speak as you please.
I am also thankful for all the immigrant groups who have made this possible, by being unapologetic in their speech and not changing it for anyone. Why should they? My west African brothers and sisters are there as well as my Caribbean siblings in God. I follow Julie Mango on IG and @daleelliottjr with skits about Jamaican parents and they are just themselves and it works because they are being genuine.
I don’t think its easy sometimes with all the noise the world makes and the conditioning, but it works because then there is no internal conflict with yourself, about being fake. I was pleased with the feedback from the webinar and didn’t have “conversation remorse” as I call it. I didn’t think “oh I wish I said that and this and that” Only God! He is faithful forever like that.
He is so faithful, when he answers your prayers, he really will. Just remember as the Excellent Book says, his ways and thoughts are not ours so when he answers many times it won’t be the way you expected but let me tell you, the answer then becomes very powerful and you see more and learn more about this God who laid his life for you and on top of that is always committed to carry your burdens. He doesn’t say I’ve done enough already. He wants to do more! But you have to let him.
There are certain creatures I can not stand, the ones that don’t have legs and live on land. I won’t even mention their name. On the day I was to be chilling after the work I did for the webinar, I see these creatures and more than one and let me tell you, I Screamed! I was in pure distress. I have noticed something when I am in distress, and thanks to God that’s rare. I can’t pray a full sentence. The only thing I am able to say is “Jesus” repetitively. So yesterday on this distressing discovery, I called his name many, several times.
I executed the idea that came to me on how to get rid of them. After trying for some time, I asked Jesus please just have mercy on me, its really stressing me out. I had been so active in trying to get rid of them, my Long Covid symptoms were starting to show up and I know emotional stress is a major trigger. I told Jesus, I was defeated, and I had left the situation in his hands. I went to bed and repeated the same and asked him to take control.
When I woke up, He had taken the wheel as he does and the issue was gone, just as I had prayed. I learnt something in this experience with the creatures I detest. The experience wasn’t to distress me but to de-stress me. I was so stressed, later in the evening I noticed I have a broken blood vessel in one eye so there is redness and today its more.
I stressed so much, and I thought surely after this nothing can stress me out again! AHA! That I believe is the lesson God was trying to show me through these creatures, I detest. Keep stress under perspective especially after you’ve told people the previous night, how to manage stress and the impact of stress on our bodies. Owi! So instead of taking away stress, instead of taking away my worry worrier nature or fearful nature, God allowed (he did not create that situation, I know the culprit) that situation to happen to show me many things.
Even if there was no one physically there with me to help me or that I could delegate to solve the issue for me, He was there! The best way to deal with stress and I really mean the best, is tell him, speak to him, tell him what it’s doing to you, tell him you’re defeated, tell him you’ve surrendered the situation because either you’ve tried or you just know you can’t do anything. Tell him to take control of the situation. Tell him you are asking him because you believe he is the only one who can do something, you are not just reciting some nice religious words. When its bedtime, tell him you’re going to sleep now, and to give you calm and peace.
My testimony is that he took control of the situation and not only that, but I had also now gotten to a new level, one that I did not and would never ask to get to. Once the creature died, I was no longer afraid and grossed out. The other thing I noticed was this. Which book am I reading. Psalms. What is Psalms all about? Distress. God you are funny, I really didn’t ask to experience any sort of distress as I read one of the most comforting books.
My life up to this point has had enough of those already, I don’t need any more Jesus! “TPA, will you be stressed out like that again?” Nop! Because now, any thing that happens can not distress me the way those creatures did and with God’s help I will chose not to. And just like that, God has taken me on his own “webinar” for me on how to De-stress. Yes, keep things into perspective but let Jesus take the wheel, and he will handle the rest!
God is Good, God is Great, God is ultimately the Best!
Related verses
Isaiah 55:8-9
Psalms chapter 1-150
Psalms 103:8
Psalms 34:8
Psalms 37:4
Psalms 37:5
Psalms 37:7
Psalms 37:13
Psalms 37:15
Psalms 37:17
Psalms 37:19
Psalms 37:20
Psalms 37:23
Psalms 37:28
Psalms 37:33
Psalms 37:39
Psalms 37:40
Isaiah 55:8-9
Isaiah 41:10
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Next post on: 02/09/2023
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